The Cliffs of Insanity!!!

This storm it came up strong

It shook the trees

And blew away our fear

I couldn't even hear

You know how when you've had horrible experiences in the past, all new experiences of the same sort (either good or bad) have a sort of shakey presence in your mind? That's where I am at the moment.

Everything is going so remarkably well with Corey that I'm beginning to fear the worst. The bottom has always fallen out on my relationships in the past, so I guess I'm just fearful that it will here too. I know it's not right to always be in fear of things going wrong, and I do fight very strongly against it.

I don't fear at all when Corey's around. It's just the whole, "Is he okay? Did he get to work all right? Is he lying face down on the asphalt somewhere?" thing. Just abject, unreasonable worry. I'll get past it soon enough, though. I generally get over this sort of thing pretty quickly.

Other than the whole Jennifer losing her mind thing, things really are amazing with Corey.

Last weekend, during the paddle trip, I was teasing him viciously. When he flashed the "mean ole girlfriend" face and threatened to call DFACS for a foster girlfriend (again), I let slip an apologetic, "I love you." He just grinned and said that he loved me too. This was a first, and I was happy with that because he honestly doesn't have to say it. I know.

But then that Sunday when he was about to head home to get ready for the mean ole' week, I got the very first, out and out, direct, "I love you" from him. Although I already knew that he loves me and he knew that I love him, it certainly was nice to hear it.

Ever since then, I get the declaration once a day - and that's more than enough.

I hate saying it too often, because almost every time I've said it previously, it was overused. Then (inevitably) the relationship ended up falling flat, and I ended up eating my words. The "I love you" declaration is too often and easily used as a band-aid for a doomed relationship. I refuse to allow that with Corey.

Anyway, here's to many more lazy Sunday viewings of the Princess Bride and more of JW's wine. Love really is a splendid thing.

Corey looking delightfully rugged on the river.

REM doing "Half a World Away" - one of my favorite REM songs.

Photo Blog Preview

Yeah, I'm a big blogging blockhead (alliteration is fun) and I have sadly neglected my poor little blog. But I've finally got some pics edited and ready to post once I'm able to get my laptop and myself somewhere with a WiFi connection. In the meantime, I do have a couple pics here. One was taken by Krishna, and the other is just...well...entertaining.








Here it is - one of maybe five or six total pictures I have of Corey. Yeah, Krishna got us with our mouths full. Thanks. :^p

I saw this pic of Ryan Adams doing his Rob Halford impression on a message board. He's so silly - but you've got to give him props for not taking himself too seriously.






Will be doing a proper blog very soon. And I mean it this time.

Dude...

I haven't posted in nearly a month! I've just been that busy and that preoccupied with various aspects of my crazy life.

I will eventually mention something about the Tallahassee trip and various other things. And I will eventually post some of my newer pictures (including pictures of the elusive Corey). But for the time being, it's just a few little snippets.

This past weekend Ihad supper with one of my ex-boyfriends. One of the less recent ones and the one I dated for the longest time. I did tell Corey about it and he had no problems with it because he's just that amazingly wonderful.

The ex I saw will henceforth be known as Sparky. I dated Sparky the last few years of and the first half year after college. He was a nice guy. Really happy-go-lucky, a bit of a hippy, and a major Phish Head. And he's still a nice, happy-go-lucky, hippyish kinda guy. And I enjoyed hanging out with him.

But, I can say with more than great confidence that it's a good thing we're not together anymore. He's pretty much exactly the same guy he was six or seven years ago. Me, not so much. Things that I used to love about him got on my nerves, and I think he wasn't used to me having a backbone. So I ended up wishing I was with Corey.

Don't get me wrong, it was great to see him. And I'd forgotten how easy/fun it is to hang out with the guy, but thats all. It was as if we'd never been more than friends. And that brought closure. And I don't overanalyze my relationship with Corey anymore because all I need to know is that I'm glad I'm dating him.

And that's that.

I'll post a proper blog soon - I hope.