The Ubiquitous New Year Blog

Heard the eternal footman
Bought himself a bike to race
And Greg he writes letters
And burns his CDs
They say you were something in those formative years
Hold onto nothing
As fast as you can
Well still pretty good year

The slightly depressing overtones of "Pretty Good Year" by Tori Amos is not representative of my pretty good year, but I love that song.


I don't do resolutions. I don't like the word for some reason. It's too formal and imposing. That and most resolutions people make are a tad shallow - to the point that they make them just to make them.

So I won't call them resolutions. I'll call them plans to attempt to do better. And I have several in mind for the coming year. I'm hoping (PLEASE LORD) that this will be a turn-around year for me. I'll finish my MT certification in Spring, so hopefully I'll be able to get out of this horrible Accounts Payable rut. I've already started eating better (thanks to my health-conscious Corey), and I plan to quit smoking after my physical in a couple weeks. Anyway, here they are.

* Quit Smoking - As I mentioned above, I'm going to ask my Doctor about the best options for quitting smoking. As soon as I have a good option and the prescription and/or the money to get the necessary accoutrements, I'll quit. And (I think I mentioned this before) for added incentive, if I'm quit for over 3 months, Corey's going to shave his beard off so I can finally see his whole face if only for a couple days.

* REALLY start cooking more and paying more attention to what I eat - I'm doing a lot better than I did a year or so ago, but it could still be better. I need to cook more and make sure I have leftovers for lunch, and start snacking on the right stuff and stop going to the Taco Bell after class.

*Exercise more - yes, Corey and I go hiking when we can and yes, I move around a lot and I park way back at the grocery store, but I need to do more. I'm not overweight or even really chunky at all, but I need to get into better shape - I have Yoga and Pilates DVDs just waiting on me at home. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get into a better routine and start doing at least a few minutes every day. Quitting smoking will help tremendously, because right now, working out on my mini trampoline just about kills me after like two minutes.

*Work on my Friggin' Writing more - I love to write. I love to think about writing. I love to talk about writing. I love to improve my writing. But I'm just not making the time. I get home from work or school and I'm completely drained and end up watching a movie or playing a PC game. I don't know why. I guess I just hate the idea of only spending an hour or two on it. I perfer marathon writing sessions and I feel like that's the only way I can really make progress. I just need to buck up and quit being so damn lazy.

*Be more frugal - I budget everything, but something in me gets inspired by the presence of a little extra cash in my account and I feel the need to spend it on something fun (i.e. a game, DVD, or CD). Because of this, I don't have internet at home, I haven't bought new clothes in WAY too long, and all of my shoes are getting ragged.

*Be less self-centered - I admit it. I am rather self-centered. That's not to say that I'm selfish. I just have a hard time thinking outside of myself. This needs to improve. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I still have (a lot of) room for improvement. I'm not sure how to accomplish this, because I've been this way for nearly 30 years. I'm a little comforted by the fact that it seems to be inherited and by the fact that I realize it. But still. I need to do better.

*Finish those projects I really want to do - I have a table-top CD rack whose parts are stained on one side, and nowhere near being built. I have a slew of recipes ready to be typed up and put into a more convienient recipe book. I have an Organizational Manuscript that I have only begun working on. All of these things need to be finished. I just haven't had the time/motivation to get off my butt long enough to get going.

*Clean my effing apartment - and keep it clean. It's a MESS. A horrible mess. I haven't vacuumed in months, there's stuff strewn all over the place, Corey keeps tripping over shoes I've left out in the middle of the floor, there's a pile of books waiting to be put into a box, there's absolutely no empty spots to place things on my end table, and my bathroom is a wreck. I don't know how I manage to get everything so messy so quick. Sure, it may be a sign of genius, but it's also a sign of laziness.


So there's my list of improvements to make in the new year. I suspect this is the year where I finally act like the adult I learned how to be this year.

By the way - new blog on my livejournal (the one dedicated to my writing) if you're so inclined.
http://javery1066.livejournal.com/

Dude...

I haven't posted in nearly a month! I've just been that busy and that preoccupied with various aspects of my crazy life.

I will eventually mention something about the Tallahassee trip and various other things. And I will eventually post some of my newer pictures (including pictures of the elusive Corey). But for the time being, it's just a few little snippets.

This past weekend Ihad supper with one of my ex-boyfriends. One of the less recent ones and the one I dated for the longest time. I did tell Corey about it and he had no problems with it because he's just that amazingly wonderful.

The ex I saw will henceforth be known as Sparky. I dated Sparky the last few years of and the first half year after college. He was a nice guy. Really happy-go-lucky, a bit of a hippy, and a major Phish Head. And he's still a nice, happy-go-lucky, hippyish kinda guy. And I enjoyed hanging out with him.

But, I can say with more than great confidence that it's a good thing we're not together anymore. He's pretty much exactly the same guy he was six or seven years ago. Me, not so much. Things that I used to love about him got on my nerves, and I think he wasn't used to me having a backbone. So I ended up wishing I was with Corey.

Don't get me wrong, it was great to see him. And I'd forgotten how easy/fun it is to hang out with the guy, but thats all. It was as if we'd never been more than friends. And that brought closure. And I don't overanalyze my relationship with Corey anymore because all I need to know is that I'm glad I'm dating him.

And that's that.

I'll post a proper blog soon - I hope.

Friggin' Reality

Nothin' ever seems to turn out right
I don't wanna grow up.
How do you move in a world of fog
That's always changing things
Makes me wish that I could be a dog
When I see the price that you pay
I don't wanna grow up
I don't ever wanna be that way
I don't wanna grow up.


Despite the occasional urge to pitch a hissy fit complete with kicking and screaming and the holding of breath, I really don't mind growing up. It's actually quite nice. But new developments of a certain nature have gotten me looking to cause an unnecessary scene.

So both folks who peruse my blog probably know all about the situation with my grandmother. If not, just a quick overview of the whole messy thing:
Grandmother is 93 and she has a very advanced case of osteoporosis. She recently fractured her shoulder, making it clear to everyone (even Grandmother reluctantly) that she can't be alone at all anymore. The past few weeks, Mom and Dad and me and my Uncle have been trading out staying with her for certain periods at night (we have a lady who stays with her during the day too). Mom and my Uncle have been spending the night.

Well, now a decision has been reached. Grandmother will stay for a month at a time at my parents' house and my aunt and uncle's. Neither one of them can handle her being there all the time. Grandmother may be brittle, but she's still fiesty and EXTRAORDINARILY stubborn. And the prospect of putting her in a home is just too much for her and for everybody else. That and it's horribly expensive.

So of course, they're selling the house. And I am thinking about buying it. I just don't want it to go to somebody who won't take care of it. I also am of the mind that Grandmother might be a little bit easier knowing that one of her grandkids is there taking care of it. And I'm tired of throwing money down a rent hole every month. But Mom handed me a heavy dose of reality last night.

I knew the house was a fixer-upper. There's not even a shower in there - just an old cast iron tub (which is SO staying if I can help it). But then you get into the nitty gritty. The wiring most definitely needs to be repaired if not entirely replaced, there may be a major mess under the siding (which has been there since the 50s), and I'll eventually need to do something about the plumbing. I could deal with the ancient old gas heater for a while, but it'd probably be a good idea to get central heat and air in there at some point. And before I can do anything, we have to get it apraised and inspected before I can even go talk to the bank. How the hell does one accomplish/pay for that?!

On the other hand, I know how much I can afford to pay for the house and repairs. And I'd be buying from family. My boss has a lot of good connections and I can ask advice from him in many cases (and he's very cool about that sort of thing). I'd have my own place I could paint/decorate any way I want and a garden to plant tomatoes and flowers in. I could have a cat. And it'd still be in the family.

I just wish I didn't have to do all this waiting around and dealing with the uncertainty.

Oh, and advice is more than welcome!



Tom Waits doesn't want to grow up either. Be prepared for much Tom wierdness.