Projecty Princess

What's he building in there?

What the hell is he building

In there?

He has subscriptions to those

Magazines... He never

Waves when he goes by

He's hiding something from

The rest of us... He's all

To himself...

Probably the weirdest lyrics I've ever posted from one of the weirdest of Tom Waits' songs (and that's pretty damn weird). Gotta love him.

Now that I'm mostly over my extraordinarily obnoxious illness (whatever it was), I've got some newfound energy (except for when I've just taken some Robotussin to get rid of what's left of the congestion) and a fire has been lit under my ass to do some stuff.

How and when I'm going to do them is another question entirely. Classes have started back and I'm busy pretty much every night of the week except Friday. No rest for the weary, you know. I've got Medical Document Processing until 10:30 and on the nights I don't have that class, I have to go to the CVT library to work on assignments for my online class.

But I still feel the need to make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies at some point this week. Now that I've broken in my new printer by putting together notebooks for my class, I'm itching to do some fun desktop publishing. With all this focus on learning medical roots, prefixes, and suffixes, my mind's turning literary too. I want to work on my novels, I want to cook and try out new recipes.

I know I complain about this a great deal and I'm sorry, so I'll stop now.

But another note of interest:

After my physical Friday, I got my prescription for my stop-smoking drugs. I've tried it before (Wellbutrin) and had a great deal of success with it (I was quit for 3 months), but I was still in college and I wasn't at all looking forward to quitting. Now I am.

So starting next week, I will be taking the pills and smoking two fewer cigarettes per day. And doing a lot of munching on carrot sticks and playing with mint or teatree-soaked toothpicks. I must apologize beforehand for the likely vitriol-splattered blogs I will probably post while in the process of quitting. It's not me talking, it's the withdrawal. Just remember that.

One more thing:

My new hair color. It's not a whole lot different, but it's darker and it's redder (if you can tell at all in this pic). I look dreadful because this was taken before bed last night. Let's hope my overall appearance will improve as well as my health when I quit smoking.

Love your Tom Waits

The Ubiquitous New Year Blog

Heard the eternal footman
Bought himself a bike to race
And Greg he writes letters
And burns his CDs
They say you were something in those formative years
Hold onto nothing
As fast as you can
Well still pretty good year

The slightly depressing overtones of "Pretty Good Year" by Tori Amos is not representative of my pretty good year, but I love that song.


I don't do resolutions. I don't like the word for some reason. It's too formal and imposing. That and most resolutions people make are a tad shallow - to the point that they make them just to make them.

So I won't call them resolutions. I'll call them plans to attempt to do better. And I have several in mind for the coming year. I'm hoping (PLEASE LORD) that this will be a turn-around year for me. I'll finish my MT certification in Spring, so hopefully I'll be able to get out of this horrible Accounts Payable rut. I've already started eating better (thanks to my health-conscious Corey), and I plan to quit smoking after my physical in a couple weeks. Anyway, here they are.

* Quit Smoking - As I mentioned above, I'm going to ask my Doctor about the best options for quitting smoking. As soon as I have a good option and the prescription and/or the money to get the necessary accoutrements, I'll quit. And (I think I mentioned this before) for added incentive, if I'm quit for over 3 months, Corey's going to shave his beard off so I can finally see his whole face if only for a couple days.

* REALLY start cooking more and paying more attention to what I eat - I'm doing a lot better than I did a year or so ago, but it could still be better. I need to cook more and make sure I have leftovers for lunch, and start snacking on the right stuff and stop going to the Taco Bell after class.

*Exercise more - yes, Corey and I go hiking when we can and yes, I move around a lot and I park way back at the grocery store, but I need to do more. I'm not overweight or even really chunky at all, but I need to get into better shape - I have Yoga and Pilates DVDs just waiting on me at home. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get into a better routine and start doing at least a few minutes every day. Quitting smoking will help tremendously, because right now, working out on my mini trampoline just about kills me after like two minutes.

*Work on my Friggin' Writing more - I love to write. I love to think about writing. I love to talk about writing. I love to improve my writing. But I'm just not making the time. I get home from work or school and I'm completely drained and end up watching a movie or playing a PC game. I don't know why. I guess I just hate the idea of only spending an hour or two on it. I perfer marathon writing sessions and I feel like that's the only way I can really make progress. I just need to buck up and quit being so damn lazy.

*Be more frugal - I budget everything, but something in me gets inspired by the presence of a little extra cash in my account and I feel the need to spend it on something fun (i.e. a game, DVD, or CD). Because of this, I don't have internet at home, I haven't bought new clothes in WAY too long, and all of my shoes are getting ragged.

*Be less self-centered - I admit it. I am rather self-centered. That's not to say that I'm selfish. I just have a hard time thinking outside of myself. This needs to improve. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I still have (a lot of) room for improvement. I'm not sure how to accomplish this, because I've been this way for nearly 30 years. I'm a little comforted by the fact that it seems to be inherited and by the fact that I realize it. But still. I need to do better.

*Finish those projects I really want to do - I have a table-top CD rack whose parts are stained on one side, and nowhere near being built. I have a slew of recipes ready to be typed up and put into a more convienient recipe book. I have an Organizational Manuscript that I have only begun working on. All of these things need to be finished. I just haven't had the time/motivation to get off my butt long enough to get going.

*Clean my effing apartment - and keep it clean. It's a MESS. A horrible mess. I haven't vacuumed in months, there's stuff strewn all over the place, Corey keeps tripping over shoes I've left out in the middle of the floor, there's a pile of books waiting to be put into a box, there's absolutely no empty spots to place things on my end table, and my bathroom is a wreck. I don't know how I manage to get everything so messy so quick. Sure, it may be a sign of genius, but it's also a sign of laziness.


So there's my list of improvements to make in the new year. I suspect this is the year where I finally act like the adult I learned how to be this year.

By the way - new blog on my livejournal (the one dedicated to my writing) if you're so inclined.
http://javery1066.livejournal.com/

When Working to Live becomes Working to Work to Live

Yeah, that made my head hurt too.

I'm free now to direct a movie
sing a song, or write a book about yours truly
how I'm so interesting, I'm so great
I'm really just a f#!kup and it's such a waste
to burn down these walls around me
flexing like a heartbeat
we don't like to speak
don't talk to me for about a week.

I don't know why this is on my mind so ominously lately. Maybe it's the realization that I really am about to turn 30 and I really need to figure my shit out right quick. Or maybe it's just against my nature to be chained behind a desk. But then, that's just a cop-out. I wonder if ANYONE was meant to be chained behind a desk. And that makes me appear too "special" because I most certainly am about as normal as anyone - almost.

In any case, the point is, that there are not enough hours in a day. There are a thousand things I could be doing right now that could improve my mind, body, and/or spirit, but I can't because I'm trapped in the system of which everyone is a part. Money. You need money to eat, live, and in most cases, you need money to make money. So you have to work.

And while I'm sitting behind my desk doing nothing because all my work is done yet I have to stick around and wait for the phone to ring the two more times it might today, I can see our future (and our present) just as clear as day:

All our little spinning hamster wheels force the other little hamsters run in their wheels faster and vice versa and the cycle continues until half the little hamsters die of massive embolisms or heart attacks because they've been too busy worrying about the other little hamsters that make them look bad to realize that they were sick.

It's really quite depressing. We're too busy to raise our children right, too busy to enjoy ourselves, and too busy to take care of ourselves. I don't think this is what God intended.

I want to finish my book. I want to listen to my music. I want to learn how to crochet. I want to read more. I want to write more. I want to play around with my massive collection of craft paint. I want to travel. Yeah, I know I'm whining, but everybody has a list like this. It just doesn't seem right.

Tonight, for instance, I have to do laundry (which I probably won't do), write an article for NERA, do my Medical Terminology homework, study for a test, and read more Harry Potter. And folks wonder why I always stay up past one AM most nights.

So I do my best. I'm taking my MT classes to ease the stress of destitution a little, and I do what I can on the weekend. So I suppose we'll find a way. Reckon?


Well, I couldn't find the song I quoted ("I'm Free Now") but here's "Buena" by Morphine. Same album at least.