In about 3 weeks, the downward slide begins.

I am an old timer, old timer
It's too late to die young now
Old timer, five and dimer
Trying to find a way to age like wine somehow

I don't know if I'd consider myself an old timer, but here I am looking up at it; almost even with my line of sight.

Yep, the big 3-0. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Corey keeps telling me that I'll like it better on the other side. He's probably right. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I just want to go ahead and be 30 and not worry about it.

The only thing that has been bugging me about my age lately is my career situation (or my lack thereof) compared to that of many people I know that are the same age or younger. It seems like all of my old friends that find me on myspace or facebook are very successful. They have great jobs that they like (if they don't love it) that pay very well. I get so embarassed to tell them that I've accomplished dick-all and that I can't even get it together enough to buy a house. In high school and college, everyone expected me to move way away from Calhoun and become successful in one way or another. Well, me too kids.

I guess I still kind of feel like a kid. I know that it keeps me young and blah, blah, but it also makes me feel like a slacker, a loser, a failure. It's taken me way too long to grow up. The thing that kills me is that I shouldn't be like this. I'm too smart to be in this (lack of) situation. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

At least I'm almost finished with the MT certification. Hopefully I'll find a job fairly quickly and start being less of a loser.

Forgetting all that, Corey and I are celebrating our birthdays in style (he'll be 35). We're heading up to a cabin in the woods to spend several days away from EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY because we need it. We're not even telling anybody where we're going. The reply is "somewhere in the Smokies." We're heading up on his birthday, coming home on mine, and in the middle, we'll be celebrating our one-year anniversary. It's a package celebration, and we're doing it up right.

I'm hoping and praying that my 30s will be as enjoyable as the way I'm starting them.

I couldn't find the Todd Snider song I quoted above ("Age Like Wine"), but I found this great video of him doing Seattle Grunge Rock Blues and telling a story.

"I Sing the Body Electric"

The love of the body of man or woman balks account, the body itself
balks account,
That of the male is perfect, and that of the female is perfect.
from "I Sing the Body Electric" by Walt Whitman

It's one of my favorite poem titles ever, but now when I read it, it'll bring a whole new meaning.

I actually like my Anatomy and Phisiology class. I knew I would be interested by it, but it's turned out to be absolutely fascinating. And it all makes sense to me. The only class I ever absolutely ACED in college was my biology class, which is weird for an English major, but really, grammar and anatomy/phisiology are very relatable and have similar rules.

I was thinking about it last night, and I decided that the two subjects do translate easily. Cells are like letters. Tissues are like words. Organs are like phrases. Organ systems are like sentences. An organism is like a paragraph. And they make sense. A certain combination produces a certain type of sentence or a certain type of literature. For instance, the heart is really the poetry. The brain is like a novel. It all makes perfect sense to me now.

Wikipeodia has a great entry on Medical Transcription, and I looked over it today. Under the "As a Profession" section, I saw that I'm just about right for this job. I'm really detail-oriented, I am the grammar queen (I just have to work on my spelling), and I'm learning the medical lingo really well. So needless to say, I'm pretty excited about all this.

My sister-in-law said that this might be what I was meant to do, and I'm beginning to believe her. But don't worry - I'll always be a writer and I'll continue to work on my novels. That's what keeps me alive. But this new career prospect will keep me fed and sheltered and happy enough to allow my writing room to grow.

I always did like Operation.


And here's the video for "Sleepsinging" by the Damnwells....well....just because. It's a weird video, but the song is remarkable.

"It's that kind of town and you're so far down you can't get up....

...I can't tell you what to sell and how to tow the line
and when to just give up."

Well, at least that's how I feel at the moment.

We all come to crossroads, and despite the fact that it's a very trite metaphor, it's a true one.

I found myself in that all too familiar situation of the recent breakup, and although breaking up with someone and one's career path seem to be unrelated, in the case of those of us who think too much, the lack of such a successful distraction as a lukewarm relationship can prove to be very eye-opening. You wake up single and think, "Now what have I forgotten to do since I started dating him?" My particular answer to that question was, "Oh yeah. You forgot to get out of your 5-year rut."

My rut has to do mostly with my lack of satisfying employment or a satisfying post-graduate degree. Sadly, this rut has also left me destitute and unable to do whatever I please with my time and job search and education.

So comes the crossroads. Do you stagnate here in a land of carpet mills and outlet malls or do you take a risk and try it out someplace else. Well, obviously the latter is the best choice. But it's much more easily said than done. Because many more questions arise. Where do you go? What do you do about work? What if Grandmother gets worse and the folks need your help? How in the name of all that is holy do you afford it? Hmm..Tricky.

I know I will figure it out and I know all will be well, and I'm not asking advice or pity. I just wonder what others would do in this situation. English degree, allergic to teaching, trying to finish a book that you can't focus on because you're too worried about money...Tricky indeed.

So I thus embark on the great coming of age moment that has been much delayed for me. Y'all bear with me.


Aaron, you've created a blogging monster. It was the Storm Trooper. Had to be.

Here's a nice little video of The Drive By Truckers. In lieu of "Easy on Yourself," their song that I quoted (couldn't find an embedable one), here's one of "Never Gonna Change." Enjoy the beautiful Southern grit.