Wednesday, May 23, 2007

When you live next door to a Jerry Springer episode

Well I was drunk
the day my mama got out of prison
and I went to pick her up in the rain
but by the time I got to the station
in my pick-up truck
She'd got runned over by a damned ole' train.

It was a peaceful night. Very peaceful. I had just finished my homework and set the alarms on my cell phone. I was all set to get to bed at a decent hour (one a.m. for me) because I was exhausted.

While I was completing my final task of the night (marinading a chicken breast for this evening's supper) I suddenly grew aware of the great row that was occuring next door. The young lady who lives in the apartment next to mine is recently divorced. It's the same ole' story: married/had a kid with babydaddy way too young, got divorced, babydaddy went nuts.

There was screaming, yelling, name-calling and ransacking all going on next door to me and I didn't have a clue what to do. I wasn't really afraid of the ex-husband (who apparantly thought my neighbor had stolen the tag off of his car), becasue he's obviously an idiot, a coward, and so insecure in his manhood that he feels the need to lord over his young and excruciatingly naive ex-wife. But I do know that a crazy man+a stupid girl+a sleeping baby in the same apartment (often) = bad news (and an episode of Cops).

In any case, when the yelling got worse and I saw the guy storming in and out of the apartment, I went to my bedroom and got out my night stick - just in case. I know these things can tend to spill over, and if dude had made a swing at the girl, I would have gone after him. Given my brief experience with an abusive significant other, I'm a bit more protective of people in that situation than I once was. One of the last things I heard before he left was a threat, and then he threw something at her. When he was gone I immediately gave her my work cell to call the fuzz, which she did.

Long story short, I had to wait up with her - well, I felt like I should. Even though her description of the damage he had done in her apartment was exaggerated, I still felt bad for the girl. But I didn't get to bed until nearly three a.m., and this is after a late night the night before, eight hours of work and five hours of class. So I'm downright "somebody-prop-me-up" exhausted today. And I have a test in class this evening.

Yeah, I'm thinking I might need to move.

Anyway, it's not my favorite band, but I dig this song and it almost fits.


  1. You're a one-woman neighborhood watch!

  2. yep - me and my Buford Stick. :^)

  3. Good Ole Calhoun? Poor Jennifer. Need to get you an attack goldfish.


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